Alex Bustamante
1974 - 2009
A Short but Intense Life

Testimonies

[Margo & Javier – I am so sorry for your loss. I regret I only found out about Alex today – I was heartbroken. I’ve wrote a note for Alex below and attached a few photographs that we’ve found. I’d like to speak to Jo – if you can provide her phone number at some time. Please pass this message to her as well. My prayers are with Alex and the family – Joe Wurtz]

Remembering Alex….

A little over 20 years ago I was introduced to a young man, Alex Bustamante. I was a “big brother” in the Big Brothers / Sisters organization and I was matched with Alex in Raytown. It was my first time to volunteer in the BB program. I was introduced to Alex and his mother  Jo. Soon after, I got to meet Margo, Alicia and his Grandparents Clarence and Margaret. Although I never met his father, Javier, I could feel how much he meant to Alex. It was clear from the very beginning that Alex had a family full of love and life – a testimony to his parents and grandparents. Rather than having to “give” to a young kid who might need a big brother influence, I found I was the beneficiary of the smile and spirit of a special kid.

We hung out together – played some of those early video games of long ago and listened to some of his early guitar. He was very well grounded and always had a positive attitude, a big grin and a playful spirit that I knew would serve him well.

My life changed as I married a couple years later. Alex and I still met – but not as often. In July of 1990, my first son was born – Alex  Joseph Wurtz. My wife Rosemarie and I never thought twice about what our new son should be named. Alex B was my inspiration of what great young man could be like – and I was proud to name my son Alex as well. Based on the pictures and stories, I can tell Alex touched many lives in a positive and heartfelt way. I’m gladdened to see his spirit and love live on in Kaelyn.

Alex, you’ve blessed us with your life – may God bless and hold you for all eternity.
Love, Rosemarie, Alex and Joe Wurtz

Querido Javier,

No te he enviado hasta ahora todo lo que te he escrito porque no he encontrado las palabras adecuadas para expresar lo que siento ante tu tragedia.

Por otra parte, creo que te debo recordar que en estos momentos, de dolor sin paralelo en vuestras vidas, hay amigos que sienten tu tragedia y que darían cualquier cosa por poder aliviar vuestra pena.

No puedo decirte que comprendo tu dolor, porque nunca perdí un hijo, pero me identifico con Kaelyn, la huerfanita, porque como tu sabes perdí a mi padre a los siete años y en toda mi larga vida he tenido un vacío imposible de llenar.

Yo quiero tener tu permiso, quizas hasta tu ayuda, para poder enviarle de vez en cuando anónimamente, a través de ti, algun regalito o alguna postal en ocasiones festivas a Kaelyn.

Llego al fin, perdona mis errores y comprende mi intención,

Mi sentido pésame con mis mejores deseos en estos días de luto para toda la familia, un fuerte abrazo para tí y un besito para Kaelyn

Pepe y Gloria Herrera

Hi Alex,
I know you’re out there looking at this gathering where your family and friends are celebrating your life. I’m sure you’re happy with the turn out. First and foremost don’t make fun of my English. I know, I’ve an accent but don’t forget that, at least, my Spanish is better than yours. I’m speaking from my heart and this is what matters.

I was fortunate to meet Alex soon after he came from Lee's Summit, MO to live with his father in the big city. He was like a nephew to me and he also looked to me as an uncle. Right away I noticed his shyness but I also noticed his strength and happiness. Alex wasn’t intimidated by the big city; on the contrary he was determined to take advantage of the great opportunities that came with it.

He was a young man and before long we had some deep conversations that established in my mind what his priorities were; his family, his responsibilities (future, work, study) and his friends. If you wanted to see his big smile just mention Kaelyn, he would talk about her accomplishments and how proud a father he was.

Javier was always on his mind. They spend many hours together and I was in the middle sometimes listening to Javier talk about Alex or sometimes the other way around. Javier always trying to help him in everyway possible and Alex often trying to make him mad…just kidding… He was equally happy with his Mom, Margo, Alicia and their extended families.

About his work ethics I can only say that no matter what job he took, it was very important to him performing to the best of his ability and it wasn’t long before he was promoted to the top level in his field including management. Many times Javier and I went to see him in action and he could never spend time with us because his customers or his responsibilities came first.

Often his natural good intentions made him stand for justice in defense of the less fortunate preventing him for faster advancement, but it didn’t matter to him, he was proud of it.

Javier introduced him to the fine things in life and to many important people, from the King of Spain to the Governor of MD. He was proud of that and he soon turned into a sophisticated gentleman. Alex quickly was able to tell the difference between a French cognac or Spanish brandy, between a good and a bad steak and between fresh or frozen fish.

He loved to share the good things with Marianne and his friends; he was proud of his accomplishments and was looking forward to finish a degree for his and his family benefit.

Alex and I had something very special in common, we could agree very easily against some of Javier’s points of view that we considered obsolete. Sometimes I used to agree with him just for the fun of it. He was delighted to see me on his side; he would give me a high five, a complicity look and a big laugh at the same time. That is my favorite memory of Alex.

Alex, I toast to your life and thank you for the memories. You left us way too soon. We will miss you and remember you forever!!!
Julio Sevilla

I cannot find the words to express my sorrow. I used to love to go to your house, Javier, and find Alex there. He was an enormous ray of sunshine that made our rehearsals happy and joyous. I am indeed privileged to have met him. May the love and kindness he exuded live on in his daughter. Ellen Echeverria

I am so sad to hear about Alex. He was truly a good friend. We had a lot of memories together. From first grade to Senior Prom dates. My mother to this day references all little boys with long eyelashes as "Alex Bustamante eyes." I am praying for the family!
Michelle (Feaster) Powell

Alex was as close as any brother I could have had growing...he got me into so much trouble when we were young...he crashed slumber parties...talked me into sneaking out of my house and walking to 7 eleven...i just remember watching you ride that skateboard all over Raytown... My prayers go out to your family and loved ones!!!
Erin James

I am so sorry to hear about Alex, he will be missed terribly. I will never forget those crazy long eyelashes, big eyes and contagiously beautiful smile...he was loved by so many. Our prayers go out to all of you!
Nicole "Westhues" Westhoff

I am so sorry to hear about Alex. I haven't seen him since high school, but i will always remember his smile and kind heart! My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Mindy Stover-Pollo

This is sad news about a very kind man. Alex had a giant heart and an infectious smile. It was a pleasure to have met him. Much love and compassion to his family and close friends. Duane Hart

Alex is one young man that I will not forget as a student in one of my classes. His sense of humor and abilities made him a delight to have the pleasure of knowing. I am so very sorry that he has died so very, very young. J. O.

Kaelyn,
Your father is one of the most genuine complimentary persons I have ever experienced.  Not to mention, a very attractive man.  Your dad made me feel very comfortable and went out of his way to do so.  He will truly be missed.  Alex was so kind, generous, loving and an overall great person who will be greatly missed forever!  Gone way too soon!  Will keep him in my memories forever. Your father was a very kind and gentle man and he loved you very much.  He had a very infectious smile and loved to laugh. I did not know your father well.  Alex always said, "Hello" to me when I visited Fleming's and made me feel welcome.  I always felt that he genuinely wanted to make me feel welcome. Your father was one of the most helpful people.  He always worked so hard and had a wonderful heart.  There were countless times when he offered me a hand!  He was a great guy.  Crystal Sears

When I moved to Baltimore and knew very few people, your Dad was one of the first people who was genuinely my friend.  I and many others will miss him always.  Daniel Clemmer

Your father was one of the best persons I have ever known.  I will hold his memory with me forever.  I will take him wherever I go from here.  I love Alex and knowing him has made my life a better one.  With love and affection, Daniel Rahayel

Kaelyb, I am Marianne's mom.  I loved your dad because he loved my daughter so much.  He will be missed so much.  Vicki Jones

I had the pleasure of meeting your father at work.  I only knew him for about 3 months.  He was a stand up guy.  He always helped me and took me under his wing.  We hung out once a week during the day and always did something fun.  Just always remember he was a really, really good person.  Anthony B.

I knew your Daddy.  He is a very kind and generous man.  He spoke of you and his eyes would always light up!  He is very proud of you and calls you his angel...now he is an angel watching over you...watching over all of us...God bless you and your family.  With love, Maria Welch

Alex was a very kind and generous person.  Seemed to always have a smile on his face whether he wanted to or not.  I will miss him dearly.  Much love to you and all of his family.  Lauren Teague

Javier, I remember your son from Rio Lisboa.  Big hug, Fernando Rio

God bless you and your family!  Your dad will be the angel who will always look after you!  God Bless! Josefa Nuñez

Your father loved you dearly.  I hope you know that and carry that with you forever. I used to laugh with your dad all the time at work.  It didn't matter what it was.  We would have fun no matter what we did. Your father was a great friend.  Always many laughs when you were with him.  Michelle

His love for life and music and people had always inspired me to be a better person.  Just knowing him has changed my life.  Love you always Captain!!! Rob G.

I never had the pleasure of meeting Alejandro.  But it is clear from all the photos that he was a "gift." Treasure his memory.  Dick Cook

We knew your father for many years.  He was a very good friend.  We will all miss him very much.  We have the wonderful hope to see him again.  Revelations: 3-5. Love, Riki and Lovie

Alex,
You were always so positive! You always gave to others and offered a hand in need! I will never forget you! Thank you for everything.  Ashley

Your dad was a very thoughtful and caring person.  A great friend. He spoke about you often and loves you very much.  Sincerely, Brad Kelley

Alex was such a good friend to my husband.  When my husband first came to the United States, Alex was one of my husband's first American friends.  Alex helped my husband learn English and the ways and customs to fit in as an American.  Alex has always been a great support of our marriage and family and especially a great friend to my husband.  Our kids enjoyed being around Alex and he always made them laugh. 
The Luna Family - Pepe, Beki, Simon & Sara

Sorry about your dad.  You have to be strong, and always be very proud of the family and him.  He was the best and very handsome and you look like him, very beautiful.  Maria & Javier Vilasoa

Your father was so awesome.  The funniest guy ever.  He helped me through a lot of bad things just by making me laugh.  We were so lucky to have been around him and now we're going to be lucky having an angel like your Dad looking over us.  Love, Ericka

My name is Lori and I first met your father when we worked together at McCormick & Schmicks or "Mac 'N Schmacks" as we liked to call it.  Alex and I and several other servers used to get together after the shift to relax.  Often we would go to someone's house and play cards.   One time, he taught me how to play Kings in the Corner.  He insisted that everyone say "Jiggity" when they were done with their turn.  We thought it was so silly, but he insisted, so eventually we all began doing it.  Now, I always say it and I think of him every time.  I will miss him dearly.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Lori

I never had the pleasure to know the smile that everyone says was Alex's trademark but this was a very moving tribute to a life well-lived.  My sincere condolences, Lorena Streb

Your father worked for me at Fleming's Restaurant.  He was a Giant among us.  He would tell us all about you and was so proud of his daughter.  He told me often of your wonderful smile and happy smile.  I and my staff will miss your father tremendously.  You should and must be very proud of your Dad. Rick

My name is Jill.  Alex was a dear friend of mine that always made me smile.  One of my favorite memories of Alex was this silly little dance he would do that ALWAYS made me laugh.  He would shuffle his feet around really fast for a few seconds and then stick his hands out with a big, big smile.  It was great!!! He knew he had to do it at least once every time I saw him because it always made me laugh.  I will hold that close to my heart forever.

Alex literally saved my job at Fleming's.  We had a very interesting relationship.  Alex and I started at Fleming's on the same day.  Our interaction was always one of good rivalry.  One night, I was overwhelmed with my tables, to the point I couldn't even explain.  I asked for help and no one would help me.  I decided at that point that Fleming's may not be the place to continue my employment.  Flustered, Alex told me to "Shut up, stop whining and get back in there."  He helped me, as he did everyone at our restaurant.  His willing attitude always made me fond of him.  He is truly missed by me.  I never told him thank you.  So, "Thanks Alex!"

Alex,
You have been a wonderful friend.  I will never forget your first night at Fleming's.  I trained you and you sweated like a pig and I was so jealous because you put your whole head in cold water and I wished I could do the same.  I enjoyed the times that I hung out with you and the talks that we had.  You're a great person and a true friend and I will never forget you.  Love always, Tammy

Dearest Kaelyn,
I remember when your father first told me about you.  He had such a sense of pride and yet sadness.  You see, he told me how beautiful, funny, smart and full of life you are, and for that he was proud.  He also told me that he missed you and didn't get to see you as often as he would have liked, and for that he was sad.  Having now met you I can see why he felt both ways.  You are soooo sweet, pretty and a wonderful young woman.  I would be sad too if I didn't get to see you either.  Even though your father isn't here with us anymore, he will always love you.  That I know for sure.  I hope that you always carry with you the fun memories you have with your father.  I know he's thinking about you all the time.  I love you and look forward to becoming good friends with you.  XOXO Marianne

When I first started working at Fleming's, I remember how horrible it was because there wasn't anyone who actually made me feel welcome.  Alex, among a very few others, was the only one who was kind and made me feel welcome.  He was one of the only people I felt comfortable going up to whenever I had a question and he always had a kind answer.  When I transferred over to Roy's, I would see Alex out back.  He always asked how I was adjusting.  He always gave me a big hug and told me that he missed me but Roy's was a better fit for me.  I will miss Alex and his kind soul. --Erica

I remember when Alex started working at Fleming's.  He was a nervous mess the way all of us were.  However, he quickly became one of my favorite servers to work with.  And then he became a friend. Going out for a beer to discuss music, or riding in the car discussing everything from life to fitness and nutrition, I always came away smarter than I was when I met him.  The best outing we had was at the Earth Treks in Timonium where I showed him the basics of rock climbing and he took naturally to it.  Alex was an amazing person, and thinking of him always brings a smile to my face.  Josh

Hola Javier,
Soy Carmen, tu paisana”chistosa”. Desgraciadamente el motivo por el que te escribo es bien distinto y no es para contarte uno de tus queridos chistes. Aunque te he tratado poco, he llegado a apreciarte, por eso te envío mi más sincero pésame y ánimo para sobrellevar la más brutal de las tragedias que puede sucederle a un ser humano: sobrevivir a  un hijo. Supongo que uno no está nunca preparado para perder ningún ser querido: hermanos, cónyuges, amigos… ni siquiera a nuestros propios padres, aunque sepamos sea “ley de vida” como dicen pero a un hijo, es algo tan antinatural que ni siquiera tiene nombre. Un hijo que se queda sin padres es un huérfano pero… ¿qué nombre se les da a unos padres que se quedan sin hijo? No hay palabras, por eso, todos los que somos padres podemos entender perfectamente tu dolor.
Me gustaría, sin embargo, en medio de tu pena transmitirte un poco de consuelo. Imagino que fuiste un padre maravilloso y que supiste hacer feliz a tu hijo, que tuvo una infancia y juventud magníficas a tu lado. Mira, te voy a contar algo de mi vida: cuando yo tenía 12 años mi hermana mayor, que tenía 22, murió de una extraña y súbita enfermedad. Mis padres perdieron a una hija pero yo, de alguna manera, perdí a mis padres, a mi familia. En mi casa desapareció la alegría, no se celebraron más navidades ni ferias, mi madre no asistió, siquiera, a las bodas de mis hermanas, se encerraron en vida. Yo no los “encontré” durante mucho tiempo porque ellos no tenían ánimos para nada. Sin embargo, no comprendí la magnitud de su tragedia en toda su dimensión hasta hace unos años, que asistí al funeral del hijo de una amiga.  El chico murió con 26 años en un accidente de tráfico y entonces yo, que por una parte ya era madre y por otra una adulta madura sentí el más intenso de los dolores y solidaridad para con todos esos padres, que por desgracia no son pocos, que pierden a sus hijos.
Pero Javier, por otro lado, los más religiosos y los menos religiosos sabemos que estamos aquí de paso: unos morimos a los 30, otros a los 50 y otros a los 70. Tu hijo se fue demasiado pronto pero te dejó su “semilla”, su hija, que es el legado, la continuación de la semilla con la que tú le diste la vida. Debes ver en ella la prolongación de él, cuidarla y hacer lo posible para que sea feliz.
Recibe un cálido abrazo de mi parte y la de mi marido, que sinceramente sentimos lo que te ha tocado vivir. Con cariño: Carmen y Luis.

Javier and family,
We are sorry for the great loss of your son Alex. With the understanding that things will never quite be the same for you, please know that we are praying for you. Today we prayed out loud for your confort and hope that it is not just beyond your grasp, but gaining momentum.
From the comments on your website it's obvious your son was a person who made an impact on those who knew him. He was a "bright light". Though we didn'y know him, we recognize this light in you and your ability to touch others.
We are enclosing a small check to go toward your beatiful granddaughter's education fund. Jaqueline and Bernard Chambaz

People, to date, who, from the US, Spain, and other countries have expressed their condolences in person, by card, phone, email, letter, check for Kaelyn Lavin's education, or a combination of some of the above: Thank you in Alex's name.