Saving California, Republican Style

Well, California’s Teutonic white knight in a shining Hummer-H2 has ridden to the rescue. Governor Grope has finally announced his plan for dealing with the California budget deficit. (Best not to say too much about such things before an election.) And in the finest Republican tradition–following the Way as revealed by the saint whom the Republicans are rapidly canonizing, Saint Ronnie–Governor Grope has revealed that he too will 1) cut taxes, and 2) pass the resulting debt on to future voters who are not here yet to protest. Ah, conservatism, what a promiscuous harlot you have become!

Unlike the federal government under Reagan and Bush II, California cannot simply create fiat money by spending notional dollars–that is, by printing more imaginary money. California must balance its budget by getting actual money from somewhere. So, after repealing the unpopular Car Tax, Governor Grope will (surprise, surprise) borrow $15 billion (that’s billion with a B, folks) to get him past his first year in office. (But hey, never let it be said that he is a stingy multi-millionaire. He will forgo his $175,000 salary as his contribution toward California’s budget deficit.) This new debt, in the form of long-term bonds, is almost as good as fiat money because it does not have to be actually paid back for many years to come. By then, Governor Grope will have ridden his shiny H2 on to greater things. If it weren’t for that pesky constitution and its ban on Austrian-born Presidents, we might well imagine a President Grope, giving the Republicans an equal shot at demeaning the Oval Office by using it as a make-out parlor. I guess he will have to settle for the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue. Can you say, Senator Grope? If there are any taxes left to cut by then, his election will be a lock.

“Taxes,” Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes told us, “are the price we pay for civilization.” The nation’s first Secretary of the Treasury, Alexander Hamilton, even extolled the virtues of a small national debt, if managed prudently. “A national debt,” Hamilton assured the young Republic, “if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.” Hamilton was making the sensible observation that sometimes we need to deficit-spend modestly to stimulate the economy–an insight for which John Maynard Keynes would become famous a century-and-a-half later. But a much wiser man in the ways of the world–the 18th century philosopher and statesman Edmund Burke–made a more telling observation: “To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.” All taxes are unpopular. Car taxes, income taxes, inheritance taxes–the lot. Thomas Paine put the common American attitude uncommonly well when he described taxation as “the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude.”

In Maryland we have a new Governor, with a new creative approach to Republican fiscal policy. Refusing to consider the taboo word (taxes) our conservative Governor wants to encourage that most conservative of family values–gambling. Now that’s the ticket. Let’s fund state government–education, and Medicaid, and environmental protection, and all the rest–by spinning the wheels on a giant state slot machine. Governor Slots. That is the modern Republican version of responsible government. No nasty taxes, so it is conservative, right? Just catering to that most widespread of human sentiments, the vain hope of getting something for nothing. No work. No sweat and effort. Just the dream of winning the lottery. Never mind that gambling is an enervating addiction for many, and a chimera for many more. Never mind the pathetic spectacle of the near-poor spending their few disposable dollars on a lie. Never mind that for the one in five million persons who hits it big, there are 4,999,999 who fail. But those 4,999,999 losers are the equivalent of that many dollars to fund State government. But hey, our Governor won’t raise taxes. It’s a matter of PRINCIPLE.

There are lies, and then there are half-truths. The Republican Party in America has come into power largely on the strength of a single giant half-truth. George Bush likes to put it this way: “It’s not the government’s money, it’s your money. We think you should be able to keep more of your own money.” Can you hear the roar of the crowd in righteous response? Well, that’s true enough. But the other half of the truth is that the expenditures of government are your expenditures too. Your elected representatives undertake them on your behalf. They are your bills, every bit as much as your monthly utility bill, or your mortgage or your car payment. So demanding more of your money back from government without at the same time taking responsibility for your bills is just what it sounds like, the behavior of a spoiled child. It certainly is not conservative. A conservative is someone in believes in living within one’s means; who believes in the character-building value of self-discipline. We haven’t seen a real Republican conservative in America since Ronald Reagan told us that we could all be spoiled children and it was okay. We could even do it indignantly, all the while blaming the liberals for any resulting problems. Saint Ronnie showed the way, and every successful Republican ever since has followed his lead. From Bush the Second to Governor Grope to our own Governor Slots. And nothing succeeds like a 3-year-old when there are no adults on the scene to tell him to behave. So yes, of course we can have the level of spending we all demand, and no, of course we don’t have to pay for it. We can pass that unpleasant chore on to future generations–in the form of colossal budget deficits, or billions in bond debt, or just a State full of gambling fools. But hey, NO NEW TAXES. It’s a matter of principle.

Looking at America today Justice Holmes would probably be disappointed. Alexander Hamilton would be shocked. Edmund Burke would no doubt smile knowingly.

11/21/03